BRIDGE: ENDLESS GAME – WHERE SAVING KIDS MEANS CLICKING EVERYTHING (EVEN YOUR MOM’S COFFEE MUG)​​
(Free trial! Then u gotta pay $5 to “unlock” the bridge u already crossed for free. No cap.)

​TL;DR (BECAUSE U CAN’T BE BOTHERED)​​

Play as a desperate parent who enters a cursed board game to save their kid. Fight literary villains like Pinocchio (liar alert!) and Oz’s wizard (fraud alert!). Collect 50 teacups to unlock achievements. Spoiler: The real villain is your caffeine addiction.

WHY PLAY? (SPOILER: U WON’T)​​

• ​​“Unique” Story: Your kid gets sucked into a Monopoly board. Now u gotta play as Alice (but she’s allergic to rabbits) or Dorothy (but her dog’s a Karen). “I’ll just Google ‘how to beat a lion’!”
• ​Puzzle Hell: Find hidden objects so obvious, they’re hidden in plain sight (like that coffee mug u didn’t notice). “Is this a clue or a cry for help?”
• ​Villains Worse Than Your Boss: Fight Pinocchio (liar), the Tin Man (rusty), and the Scarecrow (no brain). “Why am I fighting a strawman?”

FEATURES (OR LIES THEY SOLD U)​​

​1. “Epic” Plot Twist​

• Play as Jonathan, a dad who’s never read Alice in Wonderland but’s now trapped in it. “I’ll just wing it!”
• Collectibles galore! Assemble a “magic key” that’s just a reskin of a paperclip. “Worth every second!”

​2. “Challenging” Mini-Games​

• Solve puzzles that require more luck than brains. “If I click this teapot 100x, will it summon the Cheshire Cat?”
• Stealth sections where u hide behind a mushroom while the Tin Man naps. “Thrilling!”

​3. “Rewards” That Suck​

• Bonus chapter: Save the kid by… playing Candy Crush. “Mind-blowing!”
• Unlock a “magic” coffee mug that does nothing but glow. “Peasant tier!”

WHY IT’S A SINKING SHIP (BUT U’LL STILL PLAY)​​

• ​No Paywall? Lie.​​ Hints cost $5. “Just grind for 10hrs instead! We’ll wait.”
• ​Glitches Galore: The Tin Man’s rust AI glitches into a disco ball. “I’ll screenshot this for TikTok!”
• ​Logic? Nah: The magic key is hidden under the game’s loading screen. “Plot armor beats science!”

HOW TO LOSE HOURS (AND SANITY)​​

1. ​Farm Teacups: Collect 50 mugs to unlock a “secret” achievement. “But first, coffee!”
2. ​Overthink Clues: Stare at a Cheshire Cat grin for 20 mins wondering if it’s a metaphor for ur dating life.
3. ​Buy the “Full Game”​: Already did? Too bad! The “full” game is just more cats and riddles.

​DOWNLOAD NOW!​​
(But don’t blame us when ur life becomes a grindy loop of board games, caffeine crashes, and buyer’s remorse.)

​DEV NOTES:

• Made by interns who hate fairy tales.
• Art stolen from a 2012 PowerPoint. “We added glitter! It’s ‘whimsical’!”
• Testing team quit after Week 1. “We’re not paid enough to fight Tin Men.”